What truly makes you happy? If you ask me, I would say books, learning, games, my aspirations, but most of all my friends and family. My ambition is fueled by my desire to take care of my loved ones, discovering what life can be with them by my side.
Creating healthy relationships is so important for many reasons. Those relationships encourage and empower you to do better, support you when you are down, and they can even introduce you to new careers. The beauty of humanity is that although sometimes we bring out the worst in each other, we also have the ability to shine a light on the best parts of each other.
Speaking of which, what happens when you don’t have a quality support group, or healthy environment? Does it mean you won’t be successful or happy? Absolutely not, you CAN take control of the relationships in your life, and today I am going to teach you how.
Be Genuine and Authentic
Creating healthy relationships take leadership to change the way you interact with one another. Leading by example is the first place to start, decide which core values you want to implement. If you don’t have a healthy relationship to reference and answer that question then I have you covered.
Being genuine and authentic is crucial, not just for the relationships you already have and want to nurture, but for future relationships that you wish to create. People are drawn to authenticity. Show up as your true self, and don’t be afraid to share your interests, values, and even vulnerabilities. Doing so opens the floor for intimate conversations, a bigger respect for one another, and a gain in self-confidence.
Genuine connections are built on honesty and trust. Having the confidence to speak on how you truly feel will take your relationships, old, and new, to the next level.
Creating Healthy Relationships With Communication
Clear communication is the foundation of any strong relationship. Whether it’s expressing your feelings, discussing expectations, or resolving misunderstandings, honest communication fosters understanding and respect.
Often times people opt not to present their expectations or concerns due to fear of confrontation. Sure you may avoid a conversation, but you certainly are not avoiding a situation, which can be very problematic for you presently, or in the future.
Consider the following situation: your single friend likes to go to parties or barhop. They are known to drink irresponsibly, and invites you to go out. You have a partner at home, and decide to go out. Now they are encouraging you to take shot after shot. Suddenly you kissed a stranger and stepped out of your relationship, even worse you don’t call an uber. Because you chose not to communicate, your life is in danger, and your relationship is in jeapordy.
You can not change who people are, however, you can give them the opportunity to understand your feelings. This will open your eyes to how much they respect you and your boundaries, and if they care enough, change the direction of your relationship. If anything else, you will discover what you are not looking for in a relationship, and avoid enterting toxic relations.
Active Listening
Can you recall a time when you were speaking to someone and kept getting interrupted, or rebuttled. Infuriating, am I right? There is a term for that and it is called “listening to speak”.
Being a good listener is just as important as sharing your thoughts. Paying attention when others speak, asking thoughtful questions, and avoiding interrupting others helps deepen connections and shows that you value the other person.
Active listening can be broken down into four categories: comprehensive, appreciative, critical, and empathetic listening. Understanding and practicing these core principles will guarantee your relationships improve and flourish. Click here to learn more about the different types of active listening.
Showing a person you are listening can be even more important the act itself, sounds counfusing I know. Keeping eye contact, positive expression, and feedback in a conversation are great ways to to make someone feel heard, and understood.
Respecting Boundaries
Any relationship you have whether it’s familial, professional, or romantic will always include boundaries. In order to create and maintain these healthy relationships you will need to learn how to effectively set and respect boundaries. There are plenty of ways to do this and I will teach you how.
Honoring privacy is one of my favorite ways to respect boundaries. A general rule of thumb is to not pressure someone to share more than they are comfortable with. I take it even a step further and refuse to ask questions at all, unless they are generic questions, or “icebreakers” such as “Where are you from?” By giving the power to the other person to share information, if and when they are ready to with you, you are creating a healthier relationship. You can even see how much trust you both have built in each other, which feels that much more wholesome.
Listening and observing is another great way to respect boundaries. Have you ever offered a nervous chuckle, or laugh out of uncomfortablity, or not having anything to add to a particular conversation? I use it like a get out of jail free card.
Being able to pick up on physical and audible cues that someone is losing interest a conversation, or uncomfortable is an invaluable skill to help foster great relationships. Smiling, nodding and verifying you are listening, eye contact, and avoiding interruptions are great ways to show interest in what a person is sharing with you. Try to avoid dismissive physical and audible mannerisms such as crossing your arms, losing eye contact, interjecting frequently, or rushed behavior like tapping your feet or hands.
Accpeting the word “No” is probably the most important way to respect boundaries. The word “no” is a boundary setter after all. Some people might not want to be a part of an event, or speak on something they are not yet ready to share. It is your responsibility to make them feel comfortable, just as you would want to feel. Often times people try to persuade others into speaking or actions, washing it off as a joke. Doing so shows a lack of respect and no one wants to repeat themselves on a topic they are already uncomfortable with.
Celebrate Each Other's Success
Accomplishing anything feels exciting, all your hard work finally paid off, and you met your goal! Look at you! But the best part isn’t crossing the finish line, it is the people around you watching, and who you run to, and share it with. Unconsciously we look for specific people when we do good to invite them into the moment, but what happens when someone’s not there? If your honest with yourself, you feel let down.
Show genuine happiness and pride in your friends’ and partners’ achievements. Celebrating their successes fosters positivity and mutual support in the relationship. Make yourself not only available, but present for your relationships whenever you have the time. It doesn’t have to just be on accomplishment basis, and it does not have to be your physical prescence if you cannot make it. A video call for a birthday goes longer than a text, and a five dollar gift shows more thought than presenting yourself empty-handed.
Practicing Forgivness
You want the truth? I will give it to you. No one is perfect, we all make mistakes and we will continue to all our lives. Accountability and forgiveness are the most important things you can offer in a relationship. That’s if you choose to offer it.
Be willing to forgive and work through conflicts in a healthy, constructive way. Holding onto grudges can damage relationships over time. Utilizing the different communication skills you have already learned, will create a space where you and your partner can be receptive of each other’s feelings.
For some people forgiving is harder to do, and that is okay, we all struggle with different qualities. Start with acknowledging your own feelings, recognize and validate your emotions. Whether it’s anger, sadness, or betrayal, allow yourself to feel them instead of suppressing them. Once you do that try to see the situation from the other person’s point of view. This doesn’t mean excusing their actions, but understanding their possible motives or struggles can make it easier to let go.
It doesn’t always happen instantly. Be patient with yourself as you work through your emotions and move towards healing. As you practice forgiveness, you will find yourself smiling more, and able to react to situations much more effectively. Until then click here to read how to pick yourself up when you are feeling down
Life is a beautiful experience, and the people you connect with can make it even more wonderful. Go to the gym, grab a coffee, heck, even say hello to that person who keeps smiling at you in the grocery store I know you have one. It is time to create your healthy relationships today.